I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Your dad touched me again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
