I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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