Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
