But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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