so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you made out with another girl for some wings
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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