She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
