i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
