69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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