Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
