I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection