Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
