I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone