Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.

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  (248): She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/c954
  Replies (12) Good night (2565) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

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  (806): and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"... http://tfl.nu/oz9l
  Replies (77) Good night (1743) Bad night (6575) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.

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  (614): she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you. http://tfl.nu/1wju
  Replies (55) Good night (8573) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.

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  (812): Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/9awl
  Replies (59) Good night (2581) Bad night (4882) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

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  (501): i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is. http://tfl.nu/pdzt
  Replies (10) Good night (3269) Bad night (1217) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.

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  (509): Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico. http://tfl.nu/evuy
  Replies (13) Good night (5498) Bad night (979)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger

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  (561): hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger http://tfl.nu/hhlu
  Replies (18) Good night (3610) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.

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  (330): giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire. http://tfl.nu/oqcy
  Replies (12) Good night (1295) Bad night (5073) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?

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  (401): Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried? http://tfl.nu/xci2
  Replies (14) Good night (3755) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...

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  (423): Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight... http://tfl.nu/fo5y
  Replies (11) Good night (1410) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit

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  (920): My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit http://tfl.nu/amcv
  Replies (1) Good night (873) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore

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  (774): I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore http://tfl.nu/ac46
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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  (720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub
  Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.

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  (226): I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off. http://tfl.nu/fkr9
  Replies (2) Good night (250) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.

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  (702): Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state. http://tfl.nu/qc3a
  Replies (4) Good night (308) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt

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