New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just pee around me
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!