Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife

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(812): If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife http://tfl.nu/4wdu

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(303): View more from Colorado

I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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(303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://tfl.nu/0aby

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(410): View more from Maryland

Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'

(301): View more from Maryland

Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..

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(410): Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles' (301): Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar.. http://tfl.nu/a4j3

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(336): View more from North Carolina

There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.

(336): View more from North Carolina

This is god's gift to the unemployed.

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(336): There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING. (336): This is god's gift to the unemployed. http://tfl.nu/uhcy

Replies (47) Good night (4517) Bad night (943)
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(917): View more from New York City

Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.

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(917): Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed. http://tfl.nu/8c7h

Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (2951)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town

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(320): I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town http://tfl.nu/1n02

Replies (32) Good night (4192) Bad night (1177)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.

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(252): This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero. http://tfl.nu/82jq

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(661): View more from California

the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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(661): the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero http://tfl.nu/o327

Replies (6) Good night (3090) Bad night (970)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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(203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.

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(405): I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation. http://tfl.nu/hpn0

Replies (2) Good night (1355) Bad night (547)
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(682): View more from Texas

Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"

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(682): Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this" http://tfl.nu/tpaw

Replies (1) Good night (1495) Bad night (593)
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(707): View more from California

I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.

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(707): I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made. http://tfl.nu/x9xf

Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (369)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now

(503): View more from Oregon

Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea

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(503): I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now (503): Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea http://tfl.nu/ll9z

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(710): View more from

my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking

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(710): my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking http://tfl.nu/zpwa

Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (309)
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(772): View more from Florida

She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?

(845): View more from New York

Hahah good point

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(772): She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick? (845): Hahah good point http://tfl.nu/c3df

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