my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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