I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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