Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
