a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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