just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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