so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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