Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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