I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Watching her eat just hurts me
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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