I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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