Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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