i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
