I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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