Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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