trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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