But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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