well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
