Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just high enough for therapy.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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