He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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