Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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