do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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