Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
