I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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