one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
