He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize