oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
