We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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