So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
