i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
