He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize