U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
