He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
