I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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