A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
