he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
