brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
