As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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