I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
