i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
