My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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