he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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