we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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