Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
