My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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