it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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