Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
