break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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