marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
