Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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