..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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