I must be too annoying 4 u.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I want a musical about memes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize