i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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