hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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