i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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