I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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