Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
