the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
