I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
