i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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