I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize