you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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