I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
