So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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