so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize